Hair Shedding Part2

I wanted to make a post in correlation with my hair shedding video. First, let me say that it was by no means easy for me to post that video. Yesterday, I washed my hair, which was about 2 weeks from when I first started chemo. I was expecting to have some shedding, because of what came out Saturday night. As, I was in the shower detangling my hair, literally clumps of hair came out with each comb through. It may not have been as bad if I combed my hair on a regular basis but I have curly hair so I comb it about 1-2 times a week. As, I'm in the shower setting clumps of hair on the side of the tub, I finally just stopped. My hair had thinned out so much I couldn't take it any more. I wanted to capture the moment, no matter how traumatized I was. So, I got out of the shower wrapped up in a towel, grabbed my phone and immediately started recording. What you guys saw was my immediate reaction to me not just losing my hair but to everything. So, many people have said, "it's just hair, it will grow back," or "you're beautiful with or without hair." I know everyone means well but that really has nothing to do with my tears. 

You see this past weekend was probably the best I've felt since I started chemo. My pooh took my out and we spent the day together just doing "normal stuff." My hair was big and curly, I felt great and I was able to get out of the house...doesn't get much better than that. We went to eat at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants and I ate and ate and ate. Next we went to Krispy Kreme and I ate some more. We walked the mall, and window shopped some. Then, went bowling where I beat him 4 times in a row (don't tell him I told you that though). It was just a great day, not because of our quality time but because it was the first time in weeks that I felt "normal." I didn't once feel like "the sick girl." My priceless moment was that I forgot I even had cancer. Washing my hair yesterday, quickly brought me back to reality. As, my hair was coming out, everything became so surreal. I remember thinking to myself, "WOW, you really have cancer." 

As I faced myself in the mirror, I was forced to look at myself...I mean really look at myself. I saw a young woman who has the ability to conquer anything. I saw love, strength and courage in my eyes. I wiped my tears, cleaned up my hair, and put a smile back on my face. I debated all day on whether or not to post the video. I struggled with the thought of allowing everyone to see me in such a vulnerable state. Not many people have seen me cry, I can probably count them on one hand. After, talking to my pooh, I decided to share. I hope I didn't depress anyone too bad with my tears but know that I am OK. I just wanted people to see that cancer is REAL. Cancer does not discriminate to age or race. I have cancer but cancer does not have me!! I am a survivor and I will overcome this obstacle. God bless everyone for being so supportive. Love you guys :-)