Worst Phone Call EVER!!!

I spent the following week trying to get back into a regular routine. It didn't help that I walked like an 80 year-old and could barely do the basics; i.e. take a shower...thank God for a loving mother. See, my surgery was suppose to be done laproscopically, which just means they make small abdominal incisions and remove the tumor by going in with tiny tools and a camera...pretty cool when all goes well. However, because my tumor was as big as a BASKETBALL, the tiny hole wasn't going to cut it. Along with the small incisions,  Dr. Lee ended up having to make a transverse incision in my lower abdomen, which is basically like getting a c-section. In other words, I gave birth to my alien baby via c-section lol. The recovery time can be anywhere from 4-8 weeks for an open abdominal surgery. Dr. Lee predicted my recovery time would be on the shorter end because I'm young and otherwise healthy. 

One week after surgery, I graduated from walking like an 80 year-old to maybe a 65 year-old. I still couldn't stand up straight and it still hurt like hell to laugh but I was starting to feel better. It was a Tuesday afternoon, my mom bought Chick-fil-A for lunch :-) so my inner fat kid was happy. We were just eating, talking and laughing, when I received a phone call. I knew from the caller ID that it was someone from my doctors office so I reluctantly picked up. "Hello?," I quietly answered. "Yes, Crystal this is Dr. Lee...," I knew from there it was not a good phone call. You see Doctors don't usually call patients unless there is something going on. "Are you busy? Is this a good time to talk? You're not driving are you?" she asked. "No, I'm just eating lunch with my mother.," and I placed the phone on speaker as I anticipated what was to come. What she told me was enough to take my appetite away. The final pathology report came in and the findings turned out to be that my tumor was malignant. I had an immature teratoma and Dr. Lee stated I would need to begin chemotherapy. She wanted to meet with the pathologist and some of her colleagues to discuss plan of care and I was to meet with her the following week. 

Great more waiting :*(

A Basketball?!?

DAY OF SURGERY!! I was surprisingly very calm. I just wanted this thing out of me!! I nick named the tumor, "my little alien baby." Guess I should back up and explain how this came about... Reason number 1: when I returned home I showed my mom and aunt the pictures from my CT scan and MRI. As they were trying to decide where the tumor was and how big it was, they began seeing things....yes seeing things. They started saying, "Look there's a bunny!," "Oh wow it looks like a wolf or bat." I was like seriously guys stop talking about my organs -_-....Now reason 2: During my appointment I spoke of in my previous post, one of  Dr. Lee's colleagues described all of the possible tumors it may be. One in particular stood out, teratoma. A teratoma is an encapsulated tumor that can contain tissue or organ components. She stated that there have been some instances where they have found bone, teeth or even hair in the tumors. I repeated to myself, "teeth and hair, GROSS!!" Yea so that's how I came up with "alien baby." I did not want some foreign thing to keep growing inside of me; causing me to pee all the time and making look as if I'm 4 months preggers      -__-

I was as ready as I could be for surgery. I was mentally ready and I had my family with me for support. One minute I was going under anesthesia and the next I was awake and in recovery. I woke up very groggy and hazy. God only knows what crazy things I was saying. I just remember two things; the tumor was benign (YAY) and it was a big as a BASKETBALL!!

Below are pictures comparing my 2pack ;-) with my alien baby. Keep in mind these pictures are only about 3-4 weeks apart. Not the best angels but you can get the idea of how much the tumor had actually grown.

1 Week prior to surgery

Teddy and I about 3-4 weeks prior to surgery

My bday 2pack :-)

I Can do This

My boyfriend, Mike, flew out to Houston to help me drive back to NC. After 20 hours of driving, eating bad food and listening to every new album out, we finally made it home. It was early Sunday morning and we were both exhausted. I was welcomed home by my family but most importantly my mom. I scheduled my appointment with a gynecologist oncologist (gyn onc) for the following day at Duke University Hospital. Duke was recommended to me by a few people. Not to mention they have an award winning cancer center. I met with an amazing woman, Dr. Paula Lee. Dr. Lee reviewed my medical records in which I had previously faxed to her and began discussing my plan of care. For the most part, she agreed with what I was told by my doctors in Houston....surgery was inevitable. During my appointment, my mother asked her if she felt that the tumor was cancerous. Dr. Lee kindly responded, "I don't want you leaving here today thinking you have cancer." She went on to describe every scenario and "what if" question I could possibly have. She explained that in addition to removing the tumor she would have to remove my right ovary and Fallopian tube. She reassured me that I would still be able to bare children with my remaining ovary and Fallopian tube. I was excited to hear this news because it was always in the back of my mind. Dr. Lee stated that during surgery she would send my tumor to pathology for a preliminary screening. If at that time the preliminary result came back as no cancer then she would stitch me up and send me on my way. However, if the preliminary report came back as cancer then she would have to insert a port (used for chemo) so that I may follow surgery with chemotherapy. This last detail left me a little uneasy but this was probably the first time I felt like, "I could do this."

My Health takes Priority

At the oncologist's office I sat and waited with my friend Effie. We waited for about 2 hours!!! Told ya'll how my patience is. Anyway, so they finally call my name and everything became so surreal. I began telling her my story and I remember sitting in front of her, thinking to myself, "How did I get here?" I wanted so bad to convince myself that they had somehow switched my test results with someone much older than me. How could I possibly have cancer? I worked out regularly, tried to eat healthy, and went to the doctor faithfully. There was no way that I could have cancer, certainly not me! Ladies and gents, cancer has no respect of person. It aims to destroy the young and old, as a friend once told me. The doctor told me that I would need surgery, preferably sooner than later. The tumor appeared to be growing rapidly and they did not want to prolong treatment. It would not be until the tumor was surgically removed that they could tell me definitively that it was cancer.

Snapped back to reality, I knew I had to go home. Back to North Carolina where I could have the support of my family. There was no way I could have surgery alone. I asked for all of my medical records and test results so that I may take them to an oncologist in NC. Everything began happening so fast it was so hard to digest. Looking back I probably should have left that weekend to go back home but at the time I was focused on the wrong things. I found myself concerned with leaving my job and canceling my contract. I did not want to have to pay to get out of the rest of my two week contract (yeah only 2 weeks left, I know). I eventually realized that my health was wayyyyy more important than work. I called my recruiter and my nurse manager and they were so understanding. I felt like a fool for not saying something to them sooner. They were both equally understanding and I was able to go home a week early.

It all Starts to Sink in

After my initial doctor's appointment, I was scheduled for a CT scan, ultrasound, sonogram, and labs....a lot right? Needless to say my Gynecologist was very thorough. I had to wait a few days for my test results. Being patient has never been my forte, but I'm working on it. My tests were scheduled on a Thursday and it was Labor Day weekend so I did not hear back until the following Tuesday. A nurse finally called me with my results. She casually informed me that my doctor's suspicions were correct and that he felt more confident that the tumor was malignant. She asked me to come in later that day to meet with their oncologist and to have some more labs drawn. I'm not sure if it was the casualness in her conversation or the fact that she mentioned the word "oncologist," but I was extremely nervous. The first phone call I made after speaking with the nurse was to my mother. "Hey ma, so I just received the call from my nurse," and I immediately began balling my eyes out. I was so scared and frightened that I did not want to face the oncologist alone. My mother, being the prayer warrior that she is, began praying. I promise I don't know where I would be without that woman's prayers. She helped to lift my spirits and gave me the strength I needed to face my fears. I think it hurt my mom that she could only comfort me through the phone and she suggested I try and bring a friend to my appointment.

So I sent a text to my friend, Raina, and asked her if she could come to a doctor's appointment with me. At the time Raina did not know what was going or why I asked but her immediate response was yes. We get to the doctor's office and were told the oncologist was booked for the day and I would have to schedule an appointment for later that week. After I had built the confidence and brought a support partner, I was very disappointed that I had to wait even longer. I asked to speak with my Gynecologist so that I could find out why he felt my tumor was malignant. He explained that after reviewing my CT scan that the tumor appeared to be dense and also have some calcification (calcification usually=cancer.) So, in addition to meeting with the oncologist,  he scheduled a MRI and additional labs. It was hard to digest all of what he was saying...thank God Raina was with me. She cleverly suggested, "let's get some drinks!!"

Scared, frightened, and nervous for what was to come; drinks were exactly what I needed!!

The Appointment that Changed My Life

Alright so I guess I should start from the beginning. As I've mentioned I'm a travel nurse. My last assignment was in Houston, TX...H TOWNNN!! I absolutely LOVE Houston it was probably one of my fav assignments. I meant some fellow travelers who have become some really good friends of mine. Teddy was one of the very first people I met. She was soooo nice to me AND she was from New York (no offense New Yorkers lol.) My time in Houston was during the summer so quite naturally Teddy and I were on this whole "healthy lifestyle" thing. We encouraged each other to work out and eat healthy, which was sometimes easier said than done. My goal for the summer was to get a 6-pack by my 26th birthday. Needless to say I was only able to accomplish the 2-pack, which I was happy with :-).

Towards the end of the summer I mentioned to Teddy that I was beginning to get concerned. I was starting to feel like I may have a urinary tract infection (UTI). Honestly, I told Teddy that I thought it may have progressed to something more severe, i.e. pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). I went on to describe a weird pressure sensation I could feel in my uterus, whenever I went running. I was even concerned that I was not able to get my 6-pack for the summer. I always had a hard time with my lower abs and I had a little pudge that never seemed to go away. Teddy jokingly responded, "Have you been Googling?" Lol I can't blame her it was an honest question...nurses tend to self diagnose too often. Nevertheless, I made my appointment to see an OBGYN. *Now if I can just pause for a second* As a travel nurse you bounce from city to city, state to state every 13 weeks. So, it's very hard to keep up with doctor's appointments and it's impossible to consistently see the same doctor. With that being said, making my appointment was quite difficult. Being a new patient it was hard to get an appointment scheduled somewhat immediately (new patients sometimes get put on the back burner.) However, I was insistent and determined to be seen!! 

I was FINALLY able to get an appointment scheduled. I remember that day rather vividly. The beginning of the appointment was very routine. They took my blood pressure, I provided a urine sample, answered a few questions...and then I patiently waited to see the doctor. As he was examining me, he mentioned that he felt something in my lower abdomen. He then proceeded to do a vaginal ultrasound and pointed to the screen and said, "you see that? There's quite a large mass in your uterus." I looked at the ultrasound and replied, "Uhhh no, I have no idea what I'm looking at." (Sidenote: Nurses don't really have to read ultrasounds.) Then he went on to explain there was a large mass which appeared to come off my right ovary and was about the size of a soft ball. He mentioned he was concerned that it may be malignant (cancerous) and he wanted to go for a series of test....

Little did I know, this appointment would be the first of many...

Who Am I: 100 characters or less

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Crystal. I'm 21 *coughs* 26 years old and I'm from North Carolina. I was born in Texas and moved to some many different states growing up that I have lost count lol. I graduated from the illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University (AGGIE PRIDE!!) I am a travel registered nurse, although I'm not currently working (I'll touch on that on another post.) 

Sooooo, the reason I'm starting this blog is to document my journey and battle with ovarian cancer. Yes I am a nurse but I am by no means an expert. My intentions are to tell my story in hopes to encourage others. I'm hoping this will not only be therapeutic for me but will also help to inspire and educate other women. I am determined to beat this cancer and I will not stop until it's GONE!! Please continue to follow my journey because my life has just begun...