The Right Thing to Say

When people are going through some of what may seem to be the hardest trials in their life; i.e., death, sickness, money problems...you may try and find yourself struggling to find "the right thing to say." You could try and console your grief stricken best friend by saying, "Your father is now resting in a better place." Or comfort a friend in the hospital by telling them, "everything will be ok. You will be FINE." While these things are encouraging and can also be uplifting...sometimes it's just not the right thing to say. 

Well, what do you say to someone who is going through a major life situation that you may or may not be able to relate to? You say NOTHING, yes nothing. A lot of times we get caught up in "the right thing to say," that we don't actually take the time to listen to what ever that person is going through. I'm sure your grief stricken best friend knows her father is "resting in better place," but right then in that moment of consoling...your job is to only listen. Naturally your instinct is to take away that person's pain. I urge you to do the opposite. Allow her to cry and be angry and get mad at the world. Through her tears she will be renewed. I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to just complain about how I hate chemo and how I'd rather pluck out every single strand of hair one by one than to have chemo take it from me. I obviously know chemo is beneficial for me and my health, and my hair WILL grow back, blah, blah, blah...I KNOW. Not to sound insensitive but sometimes I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. Just let me mad or frustrated or whatever and when I'm done tell me good job, followed by a thumbs up. You never know what someone is actually going through unless you yourself are going through it. So, please before thinking of something clever to say, just listen...